I do not know why I am still enduring the pain you cause to me. It is indeed real that the more I think of you the more it gets hard to forget and to move on. You put too much pressure on me; I hate you, but I love you. What a fool me. Do all of the years we spent does meant nothin? I cry for you, I keep begging and pleading for you to stay, but I do not understand why you still leave me.

I seriously need help; I am in love with the man who dumped me. The uncanny resemblance you have to some of the beautiful actors on television. I still dream of you and wish that I met another person like you. Your eyes, your smile, and the structure of the bone on your face was absolute perfection. The harmony that comes out from your mouth is like a lullaby that bring relaxation.

You said that you do not love me anymore, and you are sorry for what you did. You never meant it I know, no one can ask for forgiveness when they are not even ashamed for doing it. You are totally over me I guess and I think it is time for me to move on. I wish that it is just only a worst day, but it feels like a whole year of frustration, sadness, and disappointment that I had to bear.

Why, why do you need to shutter me to the ground? Why, why do you need to bring me down on my knees? Do you know that I can feel the pain in my chest physically tormenting me apart? I try to continue to walk through the path, but this road leads to absolutely nowhere. I am tired and my heart beating so fast that I can hear the sound of the pound.

I tried to persuade you and told you how much I love you; you tell me the same, but not the exact intention. You know that I am not the best, but you do know that I am trying to become one. What is it that I am not capable of, why I am not enough? I try to fulfill all of your high expectations even though I cannot sometimes. I just realize that I am already broken when were together.

Sometimes I feel like a message that left unread, which you always intentionally ignored. A blank mystery that I cannot understand. I was submerged into a deep hole with no turning back, all I see is the light of you, but you slowly fading and your shadow disappearing. But I guess we’re not meant to be together, for I love you, but you love another.

I have been walking away from the house as far as I can go. It was past midnight, it was a silent night and the only thing I can see is the light from the post. No human, no animals, no sense of life; it was very horrible being alone for just an hour. Do you know now what I am feeling every day just by myself with no one else? I kept trying to live a normal life right now just so you know.

Few tears down from my weary eyes reminiscing the past few years that you walk me through my home, show up at my door every morning, and having a good time in the afternoon. Those were the last tears that I shed for you as I lay down my bed feeling unconscious. I need to change and start a new life with you. I guess you deserve better so did I.

Seeing me in public like there is nothing happen; like a total stranger just passing by each other. It’s hurt while I am thinking about you while you are thinking about someone else. The only thing that I can do is to not be sad that you are gone, but be happy that you have existed. Thank you for the memories we share, for I will cherish those up until the end.

I thought that I can get over you, but I am still thinking about you from time to time. I think there is nothing wrong with that. Because you are the boy that I loved before and by the word before means that, you are not my present anymore. I am fixing myself, so to that, this feeling would go away, but I know it will not easily, yet I am looking forward to it.

 It is almost 7 months from that day that you left me. I think I am getting better right now, I wish you were too. My life is awesome and I wish the same to you, but still, I am scared to fall in love again. I am scared to be lonely, but now I can go out alone and start to live life the way I suppose to. Thank you for the lesson you brought into my life, I would not do the same mistake again.

A LETTER FOR YOU