Dear Noah

As I remember the times we used to lay dawn the lawn. You grab my hand put it in your chest and show me what it feels like, being with you till dawn.  That is one, of the magical moments, that I made with you.  You are my light, just you and me, at the midnight paradise, I crawl up to you, and you hold me closely into your arms. That is one of the memories I would cherish my whole life.

Your sign of affection, embossed into my deepest emotion. A bottomless self of destruction that I embedded.  I was standing in a tight rope thinking you were there, whenever I would fall, but you are engage into something more significant.

I was being attach into uncertain conclusion that I made. A hopeless dream of mine. Wanting you all the time. I regret such things that made you feel suffocate, not noticing that I cross the line too much. I am so sorry for all the unwanted action, for it turns out that I become a terrible person.

I was dazzle by the red lights that surrounds the whole escapade. It flashes into my face fastest than the blink of an eye. I spend much time daydreaming about this imagination in my head. The manifestation of our broken fantasy that we shape and build together, is now starting to decay, and it is slowly tear us apart, or is it only just me? The corpse of your dead presence, still lingers in between.

The see you later turns out to be your last goodbye. Only if I knew that it would be the last. I would just hold you so tight, but then that is not right. Because that is the reason why for leaving me wondering why. It takes me straight days to realize how I overwhelm you. I wish that you let your voice speak for your troubled emotion; for I am committed to restore this fairy tale, we made for us.

I refuse to accept the fact that you are not here with me. I wish we came back to where we use to be. Because now I feel agony creeping into my head. Like gnashing of teeth tearing me apart, over and over again. Is this what death feels like, my whole world starts to collapse and I cannot do something to put an end for it. I wish that you were here with me right now.

I do not want to become a stranger, to be someone you walk pass by down the crimson street without noticing. I want to be the person, that you have a good memories with.  The person you grin, and smile back, as we both bump into each other. My life is not going anywhere for it is waiting for your comeback.  Give me a chance to make things right and express how sorry I am. Talk to me please.

Love, Alisa

Talk to me please.

a letter for you